I want. a lot of things.
I want to study abroad, beyond the US border. I've conquered NY and DC, but I want to experience more. I'm looking at amazing pictures of people studying in Russia, Barcelona, South Africa, India... and I want. I want so so much.
Today was not a good day. My da (as if "dad" isn't short enough) took me out for lunch. During the whole ride to the restaurant, he lamented over the fact that I have yet to hear about a grad school. He concluded that I was being lazy and not pulling my weight. So he started imagining worst case scenarios, namely me grad school-less in the next school year. Besides the disappointment of having me miss the UT deadline, he concocted a "fool-proof" plan to continued education. If the worst case emerges, I end up taking gen grad school classes at my local university and reapply for a grad program in the next rolling deadline.
Ma thinks I deliberately applied to outside programs to land them in debt. OS is the perfect daughter in that she stayed in TX for med school. She reasoned that my priority was to get out. Well, I missed the UT deadline - why dwell? The main reason I look outside TX is because the program I'm looking at is only provided by a few select schools that happen to be on the East and West coast. Granted, the coasts is the heart of all media. Can you blame me for dreaming big?
There are a ton of programs outside the country - London, Australia, and Canada. Not too fond of the latter, but I really want to apply to those highly competitive programs. It's an amazing opportunity. I asked my friend for wisdom and she told me that I shouldn't limit myself based on what my parents want. If I lived my life their way, I wouldn't have been able to experience everything I've gone through. Do what's right for Judy. That begs the question, what is right for Judy?
I know that I'm really interested in cultural news and investigative reporting. I want a chance to grow and I highly believe I can only do that away from my parents, from everyone I know. There is no room to think when I'm home because everywhere I turn, there is negativity and doubt. Ma and da got me worried about summer, too. OS doesn't have a break because of med school and LS is taking summer classes. Da asked me what I was going to do with 3 months of alone time? That put me in a frenzy! On top of apps, I'm looking into summer opportunities. No room to breath. No room for error. I'm scared and tired. Da told me that I need to take better care of myself because he's never seen me so stressed before. *news flash* I'm always stressed. I'm losing sleep, my skin is gross, I feel gross. Stress, the bane of my existence.
I just need to get away from home. I just wish they would be nice and let me take care of things at my own pace. Have faith in me. I know what I'm doing and what I need to do. It will all come together...like magic.
Leaving for my second home tomorrow (or rather, today). Braving the arctic blast in style.
Today was not a good day. My da (as if "dad" isn't short enough) took me out for lunch. During the whole ride to the restaurant, he lamented over the fact that I have yet to hear about a grad school. He concluded that I was being lazy and not pulling my weight. So he started imagining worst case scenarios, namely me grad school-less in the next school year. Besides the disappointment of having me miss the UT deadline, he concocted a "fool-proof" plan to continued education. If the worst case emerges, I end up taking gen grad school classes at my local university and reapply for a grad program in the next rolling deadline.
Ma thinks I deliberately applied to outside programs to land them in debt. OS is the perfect daughter in that she stayed in TX for med school. She reasoned that my priority was to get out. Well, I missed the UT deadline - why dwell? The main reason I look outside TX is because the program I'm looking at is only provided by a few select schools that happen to be on the East and West coast. Granted, the coasts is the heart of all media. Can you blame me for dreaming big?
There are a ton of programs outside the country - London, Australia, and Canada. Not too fond of the latter, but I really want to apply to those highly competitive programs. It's an amazing opportunity. I asked my friend for wisdom and she told me that I shouldn't limit myself based on what my parents want. If I lived my life their way, I wouldn't have been able to experience everything I've gone through. Do what's right for Judy. That begs the question, what is right for Judy?
I know that I'm really interested in cultural news and investigative reporting. I want a chance to grow and I highly believe I can only do that away from my parents, from everyone I know. There is no room to think when I'm home because everywhere I turn, there is negativity and doubt. Ma and da got me worried about summer, too. OS doesn't have a break because of med school and LS is taking summer classes. Da asked me what I was going to do with 3 months of alone time? That put me in a frenzy! On top of apps, I'm looking into summer opportunities. No room to breath. No room for error. I'm scared and tired. Da told me that I need to take better care of myself because he's never seen me so stressed before. *news flash* I'm always stressed. I'm losing sleep, my skin is gross, I feel gross. Stress, the bane of my existence.
I just need to get away from home. I just wish they would be nice and let me take care of things at my own pace. Have faith in me. I know what I'm doing and what I need to do. It will all come together...like magic.
Leaving for my second home tomorrow (or rather, today). Braving the arctic blast in style.
Labels: rants
1 Comments:
That really reminds me of my parents, especially my mom. All she does is tell me how I can never do something because i lack something and compare with somebody else that is "better" than me. "Don't waste your money on this trip, you need to save money". Yes mom, i have a full time job, but since i'm not a doctor, i am automatically poor and have to save every single penny i earn because i can't afford to live on my own with my salary. please. "Look at . He/she is a doctor and is buying a huge house". Big whoop.. Love the vote of confidence.
I think you're already doing the right thing, don't listen to all the discouragement of your parents and do it on your own. You will probably stumble, fall, and hurt yourself, but we will always get back up on our two feet and achieve our goal, no matter how big it is. You go Judy, show the world what you're made out of!
PS: Canada is so much cooler than London or Australia. Mostly because Canada has ME lol :P
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